Friday, January 27, 2017

Finding Peace And Joy After Grief

Twelve Essential Actions Steps

When a significant loss, or heartache occurs it can leave you stunned, shell shocked and filled with sorrow. You are likely in new and very unfamiliar territory. You may feel like a person who is blindfolded, setting at a table, trying helplessly and hopelessly too put 15,000 sorrow puzzle pieces together. You need help to make sense of it all. The circumstances leading to your grief may even result in your inability to fully recover, but seizing every opportunity to reclaim your life should be your prime objective. The poet Rumi suggests an important idea to ponder:

"Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow."

Finding Healing, peace and joy after grief involves a specific conditioning of the mind and a positioning of the heart. A steady satisfaction of contentment, confidence and hope are required. Joy is something that is deep within and doesn't leave hurriedly. It is more than a fleeting happiness. Following are 12 action steps to aid you in understanding and healing your grief and finding new purpose and added peace and joy:

1-Tell Your Story. One of the most powerful ways of healing from grief is to bring your feelings, emotions and thoughts to the surface. Sharing your grief experience can be healing. Writing your most inner most thoughts that you can go back to and remind you of what you feel and desire can be uplifting. If you are not keeping a journal or diary begin today. It is strongly recommended you begin a grief relief journal or diary. There is great empowerment in expressing your sorrow. This is to be for your own use so you can write your thoughts and feelings down with no need to filter or edit what is going on inside your mind or heart. Start today.

2-Today seize the flower pedals of renewal and rebirth. 
Renewal and rebirth begin and end with you. Start now. How you do it is a personal matter but it is vital to finding happiness, new peace and joy. Also, seek God's help to give additional inspiration, strength and wisdom to carry your grief cross. Consider saying a silent prayer. If you are out of practice, it is okay; you will feel additional comfort and peace when you continue to let humble thoughts flow. The more you do so with consistency and sincere effort the greater the possibility for inspiration from God. Ponder deeply all steps you might take to renew hope and find rebirth in a fuller life.

3-Count your grateful moments.
Be specific. Some blessings will be big and some small. They all count! As you count your blessings you will be surprised how many things you feel gratitude about. Count the blessings one by one. Realizing what you are grateful for will give you strength in times of discouragement. Acting upon your intentions to be grateful can bring you rich blessings. Practice gratitude every day to foster gratefulness in your life. Write at least five things in your journal you are grateful for right today.

4-Grief never finishes. 
Because of a dreadful sorrowful condition your life changed. Only when you understand what grief is, and how powerfully it can imprison your thoughts, emotions, and even your whole persona, can you begin to work through your grief. Grieving is a passageway of time, not a place to stay. Nonetheless, grief is not ever completely cured or entirely healed. Mourning may continue. Reconciliation of your sorrowful condition brings into harmony the grieving you experience. This leads to healing. Seize all the moments of every day to overcome loss, grief and sorrow.

5-Grief is the price of living through life's circumstances.
When your grief happening encompassed you, your life was most likely altered permanently. Grief is not a lack of faith, nor a sign of weakness. What you do with your grief is your choice alone. Understanding your grief and what you can do about healing helps you begin your healing journey to a healthier happier place in your life. Make a list of 5 steps you must take to understand and reconcile your complex grief. Begin following them today.

6-Re-evaluate Your Outlook
You may have to evaluate what has changed and explore what is still possible for you after a life-altering occurrence. It may take some time and patience for you to find your equilibrium again. Begin by recognizing that some of the shifts which have occurred in your life as a result of your experiences are likely to be permanent. List at least three actions you can take in the next week that will propel you forward toward greater happiness. Consider the possibility that your new path will be revealed as you progress. Courageously continue your journey while embracing the hope of greater understanding, peace and joy to come.

7-Find a grief partner.
Trying to survive your grief without the help of others to give comfort and support is not a good option. Trying to overcome your sorrow alone will hinder your progress and may even cause you to become severely depressed due to loneliness and isolation. It is essential that you seek support from others and find ways to express your needs. A partner relationship is essential to your wellbeing and happiness. Sometimes all you need to do is ask. But ask you must: "I need to have you spend time with me and here are my needs... " Cry with someone, at times it can be more healing than crying alone. Great comfort and peace, even hope, can come to those who know they have someone to whom they can turn to in time of crisis or need.

8-You are not alone. Because of your deep sorrow it can be extremely difficult for you to believe at this moment there can be hope, joy, and peace in your life. If you are going through a time of grief in your life recognize while your journey of grief is unique, take comfort in the hope and wisdom from those who have walked the path of grief before you. Can you let, literally thousands of others, who have cause to grieve, give you hope. You are not alone. Think of 3 ways how others have been able to reconcile their grief. Consider searching the internet for stories of how others have met their difficult challenges successfully. Let these examples empower you.

9-Embrace each positive moment. In doing so you can better find healing, harmony, hope, peace and joy in living. Peace and joy go together. While it is necessary to pass through the grieving process, don't allow grief to take away your faith in God, love of life and most importantly, your hope. Don't be sluggish; be proactive each day in seeking every hopeful and beneficial moment of each possibility for inner peace.

10-Turn inward and be compassionate.
Right now, discovering how to turn inward and be compassionate with yourself is perhaps one of your most important needs. Embracing your feelings of loss is essential to your survival and future happiness. The Grief from a life-altering circumstance may never completely go away. Learning how to reconcile your life after a time of loss requires self-nurturing, and continuing loving attention to enable you to move through your grief.

11-Reconnect with Your Passions. Because of the agony and heartache, you may have temporarily withdrawn from people, places or things which you previously enjoyed. While a temporary hiatus may be necessary in your healing process, isolation is not a healthy beneficial long-term strategy. In your Grief Relief Journal jot down the people, places or things that have brought you the most joy and satisfaction in your life. Ask yourself how many of these people, places or things can still be a part of your life now. Consider how long it has been since you have engaged with them. Make a plan. Schedule some time each day to involve yourself in something, or with someone, you have previously enjoyed. Give yourself the gift of something to look forward to each day. Have faith hope and contentment will return.

12-Gather precious moments. 
Seek to enjoy life and its gifts. Recognize the value of living in the moment. Believe in possibilities beyond what you may see today. You are invited to pluck each day's happenings, as if you were gathering precious moments like flowers. Are you? Experiment with ideas and actions to find the ones that most resonate with you and support your healing. Taking actions on new ideas and concepts can help you can find new purpose and understanding. Find the solutions that can support your healing. Take action today and always.

"I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself." ~Walter Anderson

If you can't find reasons to be joyful, your perspective needs changed. Peace and joy go together. Grief doesn't only present aching of the heart and mind but also new possibilities and new roots for growth.

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