10 Things About Grief Support

Grief is an experience we all have to deal with sooner or later. Whether you have experienced it or not, you will eventually have friends and family members who are dealing with a loss. That is when you are in the role of a supporter. The following ten things about grief support are written for the grieving and at the same time they will hopefully enlighten the supporter's role.

1. Grief is overwhelming

This applies to the bereaved person as much as to the support person. Keep this in mind and do not over-expect, neither from yourself, nor from your surroundings to know the right things to do and say in every moment.

2. Find the support that is right for you

Whether that is grief counseling, support group, religious support or talking to a friend, make whatever you chose to be suitable to you. Be willing to change, if the first thing you try does not work or stops working for you after a while.

3. Knowing and sharing what it is you need

I have yet to meet someone with a certificate in mind reading. Even people with pretty good intuition will not always know exactly what it is you need. First, find out what it is you need. Second, communicate your needs. Third, find those who are willing and able to support in line with those needs.

4. Apply mindfulness to your expectations in relationship

It's normal to expect that your closest person, whether it is your family member, partner or children would be best at understanding where you are at. I'm sorry to say but the grieving experience is challenging to understand and makes sense of, even for the closest person: yourself.

5. Grief brings strangeness

Grief has a huge effect of changing yourself, so as much as you are getting acquainted with the post-loss self, so do you friends and family. Grief makes you a stranger to yourself and equally to your surroundings.

6. Be true to yourself

Grieving throws you back to yourself, to take care of yourself. This is the time to be true to yourself, to be selfish - in a good way - in looking after yourself. Do not overwhelm yourself with social outings, if you do not feel up to it. If however you feel it's doing you good, go for it.

7. Do not let others tell you how to feel

This goes hand in hand with number six: There are no set guidelines about what, when and why in processing grief. Whether you consciously or unconsciously avoid it or go into the experience with full force, it is what it is for you.

8. Ask a professional

Your friends and family members will only be able to give you their opinion. They want you to feel better and get over it. If you need some advice, ask someone outside of your inner circle and get a professional opinion.

9. Think long-term

Against popular belief, grief is not 'over' after one year (or any other amount of time). Do not believe people saying: "You should be over this by now." If you're dealing with your grief, it may take a long time and you probably re-visit those emotions again and again when triggered. This is normal.

10. Feeling crazy is normal

The post-loss experience is a crazy ride. Lacking concentration, forgetting things, being emotional and lacking stamina is normal. People might think you're going crazy. This is a temporary state, which is normal while processing grief.

Remember that your friends and family might not be able to support you the way you need it. Find the support that you need and don't expect your surroundings to fill a role they don't fit. It does not mean you have to burn those bridges unless you chose to do so.



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Five Tips For Offering A Helping Hand After The Funeral

The funeral was lovely. It was packed with friends paying their respects. But once everyone else has gone back to normal routines, close family and dear friends still grieve for the lost loved one. They may feel that the world has passed them by and feel very alone.

Now is a perfect moment to make a difference to a grieving friend. If you can, reach out and show you care.

Spend time together. Take grieving friends out for a cup of coffee or lunch. Or, attend a game or go for a walk together. Set up a regular time, perhaps weekly, that can be counted on. Looking forward to a regular walk and talk just might take some of the sting out of the grief.

Offer a listening ear. Be there for them to share a memory, to cry, to vent, and to ask some of the hard questions. "Why me?" "How can I go on?" You don't have to have the answers, just listen. Your caring might be a lifeline to them and add a sense of normalcy to their sadness.

Share your own loss experience. If you have a loss in common, such as a child, parent, or friend, you might be able to gently share how you coped and got through a hurdle. It's nice to be able to talk to a trusted friend who "has been there." Perhaps you could share how you got through your first holidays or significant anniversaries. One very helpful suggestion for me, for example, was to plan ahead and decide what I wanted to do during those first holidays.

Work on a project together. Every day tasks can seem impossible to do alone, but the help of a friend can bring smiles and the satisfaction of a job well done. So, volunteer to help them make holiday cookies, clean out a closet, organize photos, fix the car, or whatever is on their list.

Give a small gesture of kindness. Even on the worst day, knowing that someone is thinking about you can really lift your spirits. Send a little card, share a flower from your garden, or bring over a yummy cupcake. It doesn't have to be much.
Grief can be a very long journey. You have the golden opportunity to lighten someone's load while they travel that tough long haul when most everyone else has left. Now is a time to reach out and be there.



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8104014

Trim the Tree Pull Apart Bread

Click here for the full recipe: http://www.recipelion.com/Bread-Recipes/Trim-the-Tree-Pull-Apart-Bread-Food-Video

Make your next holiday gathering even more fun with this recipe for Trim the Tree Pull-Apart Bread. It's a delicious Christmas-themed appetizer that is big enough for the whole family to share. Make this easy pull apart bread while you trim the tree and don't forget the marinara dipping sauce! These tasty little bread balls are stuffed with cheese and garlic and then baked to golden perfection. Brushed lightly with melted butter and dried basil, this homemade pull-apart bread will give you the energy you need to trim the tree and wrap your presents all in one night!

Pre-Paid Funeral Plans - For Those Who Want to Plan Their Own Funeral

People usually find it difficult to accept their own mortality, the fact that one day we shall cease to exist is almost unthinkable to us but it is also inevitable. We all plan for our death, for instance making a will is a part of accepting the fact that one day we shall be no more so we leave our precious worldly belongings to our loved ones, those who brought us joy and happiness. Making funeral plans for oneself can initially be quite a difficult task to do but there are many benefits to making one's own funeral plans.

Irrespective of the fact that we admit it or not, we all would like to have our funerals in a particular manner and prepaid funeral plans allows us that unique opportunity. Death usually leaves those close to the deceased shattered and in tears and yet they have to handle the burden of making funeral arrangements. When one takes care of their own funeral arrangement, it allows the kin and kith of the deceased to mourn in peace without having to worry about funeral arrangements.

Funeral plans can be arranged with the help of a funeral service director. A funeral director is expected to be knowledgeable about all funeral rituals, services as well as requirements. The entire ceremony planning and arrangement can be made with the help of a funeral director so that your loved one do not have to worry about arranging as well as paying for your funeral service. Funeral plans often allows one to decide on how they would be embalmed and what they would be dressed in while being interred into a casket for eternity.

Prepaid Funeral plans allow you to select every funeral detail from how the body should be prepared to the viewing arrangements. If you desire there shall be an open-casket or a closed casket service. The type and style of coffin and the entire funeral service can be picked out by the client. One can decide to be cremated or buried. If there was a special kind of flower that one liked, let it be the center of the floral decor. One can decide on the kind of memorial card and book for their loved ones. All the details are usually noted down by the funeral director to be carried out on the day of the funeral. The price of the funeral is also finalized and paid so that your loved ones do not have to worry about a thing. In the event of your death you will not put the added responsibility of arranging your funeral but leave them free to mourn your sad demise.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Soma_Piyali_Nath/333212

Selecting A Funeral Poem

When it comes to funeral poems it can seem like it is a huge task trying to choose the right one. This is because a well chosen poem can make a big impact on a funeral. Poems are great ways of expressing how you are feeling. They are also a great way for you to start healing your emotions, both for the people listening to the poem and to the person who are reading it out.

Most funeral poems as you would expect talk of loss and the sadness that comes with this. However the poems you use at the funeral do not have to be sad they can instead be uplifting. They can talk about valuing the amazing things about a person and their life. The poems can be a celebration; they can talk of love for that person. poems can have any tone which you want at a funeral.

Sometimes it can be quite fitting for the poem to having nothing at all to do with funerals or death. If the deceased enjoyed certain activities, for example, sailing, you could read a poem about the sea. In the same way, if the deceased had a favorite poet then the poem could be one by this poet. This will work especially if you tell everyone that it was their favorite poet before reading the poem out.

What will generally work well for a funeral poem is choosing something that will speak to the audience the most. A funeral poem should have a wide appeal. For example, if the deceased liked Shakespeare, depending on who else will be at the funeral, some might not be able to relate to it. This is why a lot of consideration needs to go into choosing a poem for a funeral. A funeral poem can be read during a funeral on its own or you could incorporate it into a part of any eulogy.

If you choose you can also read your poem away from the funeral service. You can read the poem together as a family or on your own. This all depends on personal choice and how you feel about the funeral poem. The choice is totally up to you do not feel pressured by what most people may expect. You may even wish to pass a funeral poem round before, during or after the funeral for everyone to read to themselves. Funeral poems help a great deal in comforting people, no matter which way you decide to incorporate a poem into the funeral service it will still have a big impact on many.

Remember if a funeral poem you like has a line or word that is inappropriate then you can always change it or remove it altogether. No one will notice or care, they will just listen to the poem and reflect upon it. If you feel you are able to write your own poem then that is also a great idea. It is a very personal method when having a poem. Seven of the most popular funeral poems are listed here:

• Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep
• If I Should Go Before the Rest of You
• Funeral Blues
• Remember
• Life Unbroken
• On Death (From the Prophet)
• Footprints

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6218056

2 Days Until The Tree Of Memories Service

The annual Tree of Memories Remembrance Service will start at 7 p.m. Dec. 15 at the Bryan-Braker Funeral Home Chapel, 1850 W. Texas St.

The Rev. Rick Stonestreet from Calvary Baptist Church in Fairfield will join Bryan-Braker Funeral Home staff in remembering all loved ones who have died and to offer support to families during the holiday season, according to an announcement for the service.

Each family will light a candle symbolizing their memories and the warmth of shared love. The remembrance service will include holiday music, and a reading of the names of the deceased loved ones being while a family member receives a memorable ornament. A reception to follow.

The Tree of Memories service happens each December and pays tribute to the lives of loved ones lost during the last year. The service provides an opportunity for families and friends who have recently lost a loved one to share their experiences with others who are grieving during this holiday season.

Everyone is invited to attend regardless of when their loss was, or if their family was served by another funeral home, according to the announcement.

Those who plan to attend are asked to send a photo of their loved one who has died, for inclusion on a video tribute, by email by Dec. 9 to info@bryanbraker.com.

For more information, call Bryan-Braker Funeral Home at 425-4697 or visit www.bryanbraker.com.

Reach the Daily Republic newsroom at 425-4646.

The Remembrance Process℠

More info at http://www.remembranceprocess.com

The Remembrance Process℠ captures the essence and importance of this human need, encapsulating the care-giving continuum before death through the farewell process with time-tested ways to help families move from grief to remembrance.

The Annual Tree Of Memories Remembrance Service Is December 15th

The annual Tree of Memories Remembrance Service will start at 7 p.m. Dec. 15 at the Bryan-Braker Funeral Home Chapel, 1850 W. Texas St.

The Rev. Rick Stonestreet from Calvary Baptist Church in Fairfield will join Bryan-Braker Funeral Home staff in remembering all loved ones who have died and to offer support to families during the holiday season, according to an announcement for the service.

Each family will light a candle symbolizing their memories and the warmth of shared love. The remembrance service will include holiday music, and a reading of the names of the deceased loved ones being while a family member receives a memorable ornament. A reception to follow.

The Tree of Memories service happens each December and pays tribute to the lives of loved ones lost during the last year. The service provides an opportunity for families and friends who have recently lost a loved one to share their experiences with others who are grieving during this holiday season.

Everyone is invited to attend regardless of when their loss was, or if their family was served by another funeral home, according to the announcement.

Those who plan to attend are asked to send a photo of their loved one who has died, for inclusion on a video tribute, by email by Dec. 9 to info@bryanbraker.com.

For more information, call Bryan-Braker Funeral Home at 425-4697 or visit www.bryanbraker.com.

Reach the Daily Republic newsroom at 425-4646.

Funeral Ideas To Help You Cope With Your Grief

A funeral marks the end of the life of a person and is an important ceremony. Here we outline some important practical things to think about at a time when you are looking for funeral ideas and focused on your grief.

1. Check the will.

Often people will give information about their wishes for a funeral in their will. This may simply say whether they want to be buried or cremated, or it may have detailed instructions. Also check with people who were close and friends.

2. Think about who to involve.

You will almost certainly want to involve close members of the family in the funeral and talk to them quietly about hymn or music and readings. Other close friends can be a support too and you might ask one to give a eulogy. Be wary of asking too many people and making your life complicated.

3. Make sure you have the legal death certificate.

Processes vary from country to country, but almost invariably there will be a death certificate. It is usually necessary to obtain this before funeral can proceed.

4. Seek for help with the funeral arrangements.

Early on, make contact with someone who can help with organising the funeral; or ask a friend to do this. There will be legal issues that vary around the world, but throughout the world there are professionals who can help in a quiet and dignified way. This might be a local firm of funeral directors or a local religious leader or both.

5. Ask questions about financial arrangements.

Funerals are not generally free and there may be financial matters to consider. The same people who help organise funerals can give advice about this and can work to a tight budget if necessary.

6. Consider whether to entertain after a funeral.

Often people entertain guests after a funeral both as a celebration of the life and as a courtesy to many who travel from far and wide. You do not have to. If you do, consider whether to ask everyone or simply close friends and family. Think about where to hold this and how much it will cost.

7. Look after yourself.

When organizing a funeral, you can neglect yourself, especially if you are a busy person at a busy time. Take the time to mourn yourself without embarrassment; and take time to share your grief with others.

8. Be aware of the strains of organizing a funeral.

People and families will want to help, but this is a time of extra stress and strain on everyone. Try to avoid this by asking others for help, as this will relieve the burden from you, but be careful to ensure you do not ask two people to do the same thing. Professionals involved with the arrangements can be good to ask for help about issues with families and mourning. They are very used to the experience and will be sensitive.



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4549323

Join Us December 15th

The annual Tree of Memories Remembrance Service will start at 7 p.m. Dec. 15 at the Bryan-Braker Funeral Home Chapel, 1850 W. Texas St.

The Rev. Rick Stonestreet from Calvary Baptist Church in Fairfield will join Bryan-Braker Funeral Home staff in remembering all loved ones who have died and to offer support to families during the holiday season, according to an announcement for the service.

Each family will light a candle symbolizing their memories and the warmth of shared love. The remembrance service will include holiday music, and a reading of the names of the deceased loved ones being while a family member receives a memorable ornament. A reception to follow.

The Tree of Memories service happens each December and pays tribute to the lives of loved ones lost during the last year. The service provides an opportunity for families and friends who have recently lost a loved one to share their experiences with others who are grieving during this holiday season.

Everyone is invited to attend regardless of when their loss was, or if their family was served by another funeral home, according to the announcement.

Those who plan to attend are asked to send a photo of their loved one who has died, for inclusion on a video tribute, by email by Dec. 9 to info@bryanbraker.com.

For more information, call Bryan-Braker Funeral Home at 425-4697 or visit www.bryanbraker.com.

Reach the Daily Republic newsroom at 425-4646.