4 Tips For Successfully Speaking At A Funeral

Speaking at a funeral can be scary! Here are 4 tips to make it easier for you.

Funeral Etiquette

Your guide to dressing, behaving & comforting respectfully at a funeral.

Your presence at a funeral & support will be much appreciated by the family. This is service is the time to express & receive support, provides a process for mourning & gives a sense of closure. This service also requires respect.

The way you act, dress & speak should reflect the conservativeness & solemnity of the service. Your attire should be formal & simple, wearing black or dark, neutral colors. Arriving to the funeral properly well dressed is a form of politeness & conveys respect for the deceased & bereaved.

During the service, common sense & polite discretion are what you will use as guides for your behavior. The service is a time to remember, pray & reflect. Sit quietly, observe & don't get up during the service, unless it is urgent. Make sure your phone is off & put away at this time of remembrance & respect. If participation is requested, follow along in respect & to observe tradition.

After the service, express your sympathy by sharing warm remembrances & what the person meant to you with the family & they will appreciate this. At a loss for words, the best thing is to hold their hand or give them a hug. This is always enough. Be there for the family, if they would like to talk about their loved one, listen & give them your full attention.

Flowers can be comforting to the family as well & may be sent to the home of the family as a gesture of respect for the deceased. Also, bringing a prepared meal to the home of the family is a symbol of the continuation of life & a moment of separation from the emotional details of death. A gift certificate to a favorite restaurant is a practical gift as well.

Remember your presence & support is appreciated. Be sincere & be yourself. There is a reason you were asked to attend. Be honored that you were chosen as capable of offering comfort in a time of need. ♥

"What 1000 Funerals Taught Me About Life." | Darren Maclean

We often discuss people after they have passed away at their funerals and memorials. Here, Darren Maclean talks of what he learned about life officiating over 1000 funerals - what he learned about other people's lives and the choices they made in how to live them. Direct and to the point, he reminds us to make careful choices about how we spend each precious moment.

52nd Leisure Town Men’s Club Pancake Breakfast: Thank You!

We would like to thank all the Bryan-Braker Staff and their family and friends that volunteered their time as servers at the 52nd Leisure Town Men’s Club Pancake Breakfast. We had an excellent turnout and a wonderful morning! The Leisure Town Residents and their families were well fed and in good spirits leaving the breakfast.  Looking forward to it again next year!

The Right Poem To Read At A Funeral

The right poem to read at a funeral will be different for you than it is for some others. Every individual is truly unique. Every life has its special story. A poem that resonates with one person may not express the emotions of another. Your choice is your own.

That does not mean that funeral poems others have used will fall flat with you, however. There is a reason why some poems make frequent appearances at memorial services. They address common issues associated with the loss of a loved one and communicate emotions in a clear and honest way.

In fact, those looking for funeral poems should consider at least briefly evaluating classic poems other have found valuable. Doing so exposes one to a wealth of potentially perfect verses.

The funeral process in our culture moves quickly. Many would argue that it moves too quickly. Time is never in surplus and there is often a sense of urgency and pressure surrounding the matter. The resulting intensity and anxiety may amplify the obviously emotionally trying nature of the experience. This is another reason to take a look at funeral poems others have found special and evocative. We would never want efficiency to govern matters of the heart, but finding a potentially quicker route to our goals is always welcome.

Do not become discouraged as you look for the right poem. There is a reason why you are drawn to the idea of using poetry at the services. It is a remarkable way to beautifully communicate emotional realities. Poetry, they say, originates in the soul and speaks directly to the souls of others. It is a wonderful way to express your emotions and to capture the spirit, beauty, and love of the departed.

Obviously, planning a memorial can be a very trying process. You should know, however, that you will manage this funeral successfully. As humans, we seem to have an almost instinctive ability to find the right tools and to communicate the right needs in emotionally trying times. You will find the right poem and the perfect words.



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2018 Solano Wine & Food Jubilee Saturday May 19th

All are welcome! Bryan-Braker Funeral Home stands alone in being the only business to support the NorthBay Wine and Food Jubilee consistently for the last 31 years! Precedes support the programs and services of NorthBay Hospice and Bereavement. Craig Bryan currently sits on the NorthBay Health Care Foundation Board. He is serving as Chairman of the Event; accompanied by his wife, Francie Bryan, who is serving as Food Vendor Chairman.

The 2018 Solano Wine & Food Jubilee will offer ticketholders a “wine country casual” experience, as they stroll about the Harbison Event Center grounds, sampling some of the area’s best foods and award-winning wines and beers while enjoying musical entertainment provided by special guests.

Held on Saturday, May 19, 2018. Doors open from 5:00pm - 10:00pm @ Vacaville Nut Tree; Harbison Event Center. For more information and tickets please visit www.northbayc2c.org

How To Honor A Life

It’s about bringing those you love together, at a time of loss. It’s a natural thing to do, and over time, has become a socially-expected practice. More importantly, a funeral or memorial service, whether traditional or contemporary, is the first step in healing.

You can have your service anywhere, and anyway, you want. Your choices include the place, day of the week, and time of day; the musical selection, what prayers will be said or songs you’d like sung. We can arrange to have doves, butterflies, or balloons released at the close of the service. Keepsake gifts of your favorite candy can be given or wildflower seeds to be planted in your memory. We’re here to help you create the most memorable and meaningful service to honor your loved one.

Keys To Reducing Funeral Stress

1. Even in an emergency, you have more time than you think.

One of the greatest causes of stress around planning and arranging a funeral—especially an unexpected one, is that you have to do it in a very short time. Trying to plan a funeral in just a couple of days can be extremely stressful, and frustrating. But the reality is that you have more time than you may think.

While it is true that certain aspects have to be done quickly, the actual date and arrangements for the funeral can be done on your schedule, within reason. (The exception to this is that certain religions like Judaism require strict timelines for burial.) Find a funeral home or cemetery in your area that can give you expert advice on any specific requirements.

If this is an Emergency, go to our section on Funeral Emergency or watch The Remembrance Process℠ video below for a quick overview of what needs to be done.

2. Empower your family by getting information in advance.

For many families, especially in American culture, the idea of discussing death, and funeral planning is uncomfortable. Even in families where a loved one is terminally ill, the idea of discussing funeral arrangements is often seen as morbid, or an indication that the family is “giving up” on the loved one. In addition, because information about funerals, cremation, monuments, hospice, nursing homes, has not been readily available, the subject is treated with the fear that accompanies the unknown.

The Remembrance Process℠ can provide planning materials, and information about your options and rights on-line, or over the phone, or by calling a Remembrance Provider℠. Gaining this information in advance allows families to plan in a calm and peaceful way in the privacy of their home. When you can discuss options, look at choices, and consider ways of saying goodbye to your loved one, the perspective about the funeral can change dramatically. Knowledge is power, and never more so, than about this inevitable life event. Funerals will always be stressful events, but knowing what to expect in advance, can reduce that stress tremendously.

3. Plan in advance (even shortly in advance) if you can.

Giving your family a funeral plan, may be one of the best gifts you ever give them, since it allows them to stop worrying about details, allows them to come together as a family to grieve, without distractions.

Often, a significant cause of stress in planning a funeral is the disagreement between family members over what “ dad or mom would have wanted.” Arguments can occur over whether burial or cremation is desired, what kind of casket is appropriate, what kind of service, what kind of monument, when to have the service, and how much to pay for these arrangements.

Ironically, these arguments often occur in the most loving families, where different family members have strong opinions on how to honor their deceased family member.

See information on funeral planning on this site, or find a funeral home to learn about funeral planning tools that can assist you in creating a funeral plan that is as simple or detailed as you want. You can even add information about your genealogy, choices of music, or obituary that may provide extraordinary comfort to your family not only at the time of death, but in years to come. Almost 40% of all families now choose to use hospice care as the way to make end of life a more personal and natural process. Allowing the loved one to be cared for at home, surrounded by family members, is seen by many as a tremendous advantage over a death that occurs in a hospital, that almost always has to be more impersonal.4. Explore hospice care as a way of making end of life a more natural, personal process.

In addition, many families find that the care provided by hospice nurses, chaplains, and medical and social worker professionals not only helps the terminally ill patient, but helps the family as well. These professionals are experienced in helping families say goodbye to their loved ones in personal ways, and they can also help in personalizing the care the dying person receives.

By helping make death part of a natural process, rather than a sudden and separate event, the hospice experience leads to a funeral process and event that for many is more natural, more humane, and in many cases, more spiritual than what they have experienced by dealing only with the hospital. 

For more information please visit the hospice section of this site or call one of our counselors to find a hospice or funeral home near you.

5. Budget and explore financing options for the funeral in advance.

If you have time to prepare, there are many ways to reduce the financial stress of a funeral. And your Remembrance Providers℠ can help here. Also, if you have traditional insurance, your Remembrance Provider℠ can help process this for you. In addition, Remembrance Providers℠ can discuss various approaches to making sure you get the funeral you want, in a way that matches your budget, so that you can focus on moving from grieve to remembrance. They can also tell you about final expense insurance, which is inexpensive and generally available to people 50-85.

6. Connect with a clergyman or spiritual counselor to help your family through this time.

End of life is a difficult passage, and for many families, the counsel and advice provided by experienced ministers or clergy can be a significant aid. Even for families who may not be actively involved in a church, the guidance and support of a clergyman or woman can be wonderfully comforting. In addition, many families may need advice on religious traditions that their parents observed, and which they would like to honor.

Funeral Planning : How To Pay For Funeral Expenses

The price of funerals can vary dramatically depending on a family's personal choice and the funeral service. Pay for funeral expenses, and pay attention to visitation duration, with help from a licensed funeral director and embalmer in this free video on funeral planning.

The Chapel Of Light

  

The Chapel of Light offers indoor niches in a beautiful setting. The niches are all glass front so that you may decorate with pictures and/or mementos. Generous use of stained glass and natural skylight within the design of the Chapel of Light evokes a feeling of peacefulness while visiting. The indoor chapel is equipped with security locks that require an entry code. Each purchaser is given this code.