Funeral Etiquette Guide - How To Behave, Dress Code + DO's & DON'Ts

When you learn about the death of a loved one or an acquaintance, it's important to reach out to the intermediate family and express your condolences. The best way to do this is through a letter of condolence. No, this is not a Facebook message, this is a handwritten letter that is dropped in a mailbox. The core point of this is that you have a sincere, honest message that lets them know that you think about them and that you're sorry for them.

Historically, people also sent flowers because it helps to mask the odor of death and the not so perfect embalming process. Today, people send flowers because it's a sign of respect, sometimes though, people find it's a waste of money if they have too many flowers and in that case, what's always appropriate is to have a donation for the deceased favorite charity.

Sometimes, they have little cards at the visitation or at the funeral service where you can donate the money. It's really important to never send flowers if the deceased is Jewish and if you want to learn more about Jewish traditions, Buddhist traditions, Orthodox traditions or Muslim traditions, please check out our in depth guide about funeral etiquette on our website.

The next step is the funeral or memorial service, it's always a funeral service if there's a body and a coffin. If that's not present, it's called memorial service. This can also be the case if the body was cremated, we talk about memorial service, not a funeral service. The traditional funeral service is slowly but surely becoming extinct and it's often substituted with a celebration of the person's life and it always depends on what the deceased would have wanted or what he wished for. This event is not about you, attend the service, converse, talk to the family and leave.

At the service, you want to be respectful at all times. It's a tradition at a funeral to have a eulogy which is a heartfelt tribute to the deceased. If you're asked to give a eulogy, you should think about how to talk about the person in a complimentary and dignified way. This is about showing your last respect to a person, maybe shared memories or things that made him a great person.

Now one of the components of respect, especially at a funeral is dress code. Never wear jeans or a golf shirt, like slacks, shorts or anything of that kind for a funeral. It's simply disrespectful towards the deceased.

If the death occurred in your family, it is important to acknowledge the heartfelt sympathies in the cards you got. You want to tell people that you are thankful that they thought of you and again, it is best to express with a thank you card. A funeral is a very sad event and it is important to support the family, that you are subdued, you understand it's not about you but about the family and the ones who are left behind and so you have to do your best to support them and to show your respect and dignity.

Garden Accent Stone: ‘Wherever A Beautiful Soul Has Been There Is A Trail Of Beautiful Memories.’

Our garden memorial stones are a lasting way to honor the memory of a loved one. This memorial stone is made of cast stone in Saxonburg, PA. Made to be weatherproof and guaranteed to last a lifetime, these stones are the perfect addition to any garden.

Engraving Reads:

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Chapel Services

Gathering with friends and family gives everyone the opportunity to share memories, express emotions, and find comforting support. Whether you choose burial or cremation; whether you select a formal funeral or a more relaxed memorial service, the need for acknowledgment of the loss with family and friends is ever present. We can help you create a unique meaningful ceremony to express the genuine individuality of your loved one.

We offer families a beautiful setting in which to come together to honor your loved one. But, you may certainly choose to celebrate their life in a more unique setting. No matter where you decide to gather together, such a service will make a difference in the lives of all who attend.

The stained glass chapel seats 70 adults comfortably and is adjacent to a beautiful courtyard. It is equipped with a tape/cd player, so that you may play your loved ones favorite music. The chapel is available for day and evening visitations and services. Families may choose to have an outdoor service. This ceremony is conducted in front of the Birch Dormitory. This type of service is ideal for those who love the outdoors or those having military honors.

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Funeral Planning : How To Behave At A Funeral

A funeral is supposed to be a ceremonial time, and it is very important to remain respectful towards to the deceased and their family. Behave at a funeral as if it were a church service with help from a licensed funeral director and embalmer in this free video on funeral planning.

What To Wear To A Funeral For Women

Picking something out for a funeral is sometimes difficult considering the circumstances. Find out what to wear to a funeral for women with help from a published author in this free video clip.

Expert: Frances Cole Jones

Filmmaker: Trevour Lovitt

How To Write And Deliver A Eulogy Step 6 Of 6 - Delivering The Eulogy Tutorial

This is the last step - step six - in this six-part series.

How To Write And Deliver A Eulogy Step 5 Of 6 - Rehearsing Delivery - Rehearse And Refine Tutorial

How To Write And Deliver A Eulogy Step 5 of 6 - Rehearsing Delivery - Rehearse and Refine Tutorial

How To Write And Deliver A Eulogy Step 4 of 6 - Eulogy Definition - Bring Them Together

This step is about assembling all the "building blocks", or pieces of information about the deceased, together in an organized way in order to create a well-written eulogy speech.
A eulogy is a funeral speech, and like all speeches, it has three parts:- a beginning, a middle and an end. All good speeches follow this format.
The aim now is to write out the speech word for word, as you would read it out at the funeral or service.
Do not attempt to "wing it" from memory. It must be written down. This video explains why this is necessary.
It also explains how to resolve differences in views of the deceased from different family members. One may have only good things to say about the deceased, whilst another may not. This video explains some of the ways to resolve this.
A guiding principle in writing the eulogy is to remember what exactly the word itself, a "eulogy", is and how it's defined.
The word "eulogy" means "good words" in Greek. And whilst the deceased may have caused some of our pain when they were alive (hopefully only a small minority of readers), we want to go beyond that to find those "good words". Hint at the bad times, if you must, but dwell on the good points. After all, it's a final send-off. Whatever differences you had in life, now is the time to transcend them. If you have to mention the deceased's faults, as some family members may insist, this video explains ways of gently and tactfully doing this.
Another important function of the eulogy is to comfort the grieving.
This video then shows how we assemble and edit the pieces of information we have, and to connect them together in a meaningful way. After this is done, opening phrases are added to the start, and closing phrases are added to the end.

How To Write And Deliver A Eulogy Step 3 of 6 - Gather Material - Collect Building Blocks

This step of this eulogy video tutorial series is about the material that will be in your funeral speech. Rather than trying to assembling the eulogy speech "finished" right from the start, in one go, we take time instead to gather raw information.

What is the raw information, or "building blocks"? It can be anything. Really, anything. For example, a memory from the past,
your feelings for the person, the quality of the person, a quote the person liked to repeat, your experiences growing up, what the person was like in their prime, the people the person loved, a
memento, a funny experience involving the person, how the person made a difference in people's lives, what the person said that made a difference to you, and so on.

We want to write all these down, regardless of the order in which they'll be placed in the final speech. Or whether we think we can use the material or not. We want to collect as many of these
points as possible. Write it down. You may remember it now, but may soon forget, and know you've forgotten something important. Ask me how I know!

This step of the video series involves just gathering all the facts, feelings, memories etc in the form of lots of notes. The next step in this video series is the arranging of this information into a proper funeral speech, but that's not the goal in this step.

It will help if we spend some time in quiet contemplation about the deceased. Find a place where you won't be disturbed. Then close your eyes, relax, and bring yourself back to an earlier time, when the person was alive. Commune with the memories of the past. Spend quiet time in contemplation. Then, as the ideas come to you for the funeral speech, write it all down.

An important point is to talk to family members, or close friends, about their memories. Involve them in the process. This will enrich the material with which you have to work with. Get on the phone and talk, or better still, have a face to face meeting.

By the end of this process you should have gathered a lot of material. The next step of this video series is crafting this material into a good funeral speech.

How To Write And Deliver A Eulogy Step 2 of 6 - What Kind of Eulogy?

There are two basic kinds of eulogy - a biographical and a personal view. You can have one or the other, or a combination. A biographical eulogy just speaks to the facts of the person's life. Where they were born, where they lived, where they worked, who they were married to, who were their children etc. I feel the biographical eulogy may be a little outdated now because it does not speak to feelings.

The other type of eulogy, which is more common, is the personal view eulogy. Here we speak about our feelings for the person, tell our memories of them and how they affected our lives. In other words, it's based on our feelings and our personal views. So it's not "objective", but then, a eulogy need not be objective. Later in this video series, we'll explore the meaning of the word "eulogy", and the purpose of it. Let's agree to throw strict objectivity out the window!

This video gives you polar examples of these two types of eulogies or funeral speeches. The second example is a eulogy for a father. I think most of us would prefer the second example to the first.
Most modern eulogies nowadays are a combination of the two, leaning towards the personal view.

The task of delivering a eulogy can be shared between two or more family members.

Also, if you're the only one delivering the eulogy, you can ask other family members for content to put into your eulogy. This process can be quite informative to you, and healing. Things you never knew about them while they were alive.