Saying the Right Things at a Funeral

Etiquette expert Diane Gottsman helps us find the right words of comfort.

2 Minutes on a Ledger Grave Marker

What is a Ledger style of a Grave Marker/Headstone? Kari Northey, a funeral director and embalmer (mortician), explains what this style of marker looks like.

9 Tips for Presenting a Eulogy

These 9 tips will help you do the best job you can, presenting the eulogy for someone you love.

When Someone We Love Has Died

The death of a loved one is pretty much the saddest thing that can befall us. The French 16th century philosopher Montaigne once wrote: 'To philosophise is to learn to die.' Here are a set of the School of Life's darkest but most consoling thoughts on death.

What Should I Bring to a Funeral Service?

What should I bring to a funeral service?

Answering Common Funeral Etiquette Questions

Attending a funeral is a significant event and may come with many questions prior to attending, including what to wear, where to sit or when to arrive? We have created a helpful video to answer common questions around funeral etiquette so the fear of the unknown does not stop you from attending a funeral service.

Some of the questions we help to answer are:

- When should I arrive at a funeral?
- What do I do when I arrive at a funeral?
- What should I say to people at a funeral?
- Where should I sit during a funeral?
- Can I take photographs during a funeral?
- Shall I bring a gift to a funeral?
- Should I bring my children to a funeral?

5 Things About Grief No One Really Tells You

Most people know the common five to seven stages of grief: Shock, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Testing, and Acceptance. Everyone experiences these stages in entirely different ways. Truth is, there is more to grieving than most people realize.

2 Minutes on Coffins vs. Caskets

Kari Northey, a funeral director and embalmer (Mortician), explains the difference between the terms coffin and casket....yes there is a difference!

How To Write An Obituary

Losing a loved one is very painful, and through writing about their life can be an arduous task, it can also be a therapeutic and wonderful way to honor your loved one.

Step 1: Read other obituaries
Read other obituaries to get a feel for how obituaries are commonly formatted and what information is used. Use your local newspaper, for example.

Step 2: Determine the specifics
Determine your price range and deadline times by talking with your funeral director or with the local newspaper where it will run. Newspapers have strict deadlines and charge by column width, length, or word count. Once you've obtained that information, you can begin the creative process.

Step 3: Make a list
Make a list of the basic information about the deceased you'd like to include. Most obituaries include the full name, age, birth date, place of residence, partner's name, and where and when the memorial service will take place.

Tip
Avoid identity theft by withholding sensitive information in the obituary. Thieves can use gaps in reporting the death to steal birth certificates, social security numbers, and financial information.

Step 4: Make a second list
Create a second list of additional information. Some obituaries include the deceased's educational background, employment, birthplace, parents, children and grandchildren, pets, hobbies, accomplishments, organization affiliations, military service, and where people can send contributions or flowers.

Tip
Mention in the obituary if your family is having donations sent to an organization important to the deceased in lieu of flowers.

Step 5: Begin writing
Write the obituary by following the examples in your local paper and putting the pieces together one-by-one. Focus on the deceased's full and wonderful life, not their death.

Step 6: Revise
Revise your original draft once it's completed. Make any necessary changes and try to tighten up your writing.

Step 7: Proofread
Proofread your obituary thoroughly. You've put a lot of work into honoring your loved one, and you wouldn't want to ruin that work by misspelling one of their children's names. Now you can relax knowing that you've honored your loved one's life.

Did You Know?
The newspaper-obituary tradition began to flourish at the London Times under the editorship of John Thadeus Delane, who served at the British paper from 1841-1877.

2 Minutes on Secondary Loss/Grief

What is secondary loss and when can it occur? How can someone have more than one loss at a time? Funeral director Kari Northey Explains