Sympathy is a delicate matter and must be handled with sensitivity and restraint. Learn to write a card to the grieving conveys respect and extends loving support.
Step 1: Keep it short
Acknowledge the person's loss and express sympathy and condolences. Draw from personal experience, keep the card short, and write simple sentences.
Step 2: Avoid platitudes or advice
Avoid platitudes in the letter -- judgmental observations or religious commentary are not appropriate. Also, avoid suggesting what the person "should" feel.
Tip
Don't get into graphic depictions of the event or a recitation of your own reaction upon hearing the news.
Step 3: Offer to help
Make a heartfelt offer in the message to help in any way you can, but leave the details up to them.
Step 4: Be sincere, not intrusive
Resist the temptation to say "I know how you feel." Be sincere about your feelings without rambling.
Step 5: Use humor
Use humor, but be careful. Under certain circumstances, light humor can ease the pain, but be certain you're not misunderstood.
Step 6: Close with promised support
Close with an honest encouragement to heal, and reassurance of your continued love and support.
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